TUNE IN: APPLE PODCASTS I SPOTIFY I STITCHER

Transcript

The Gift of Virtual Meetings

You’re probably thinking I’ve lost it. How can attending video meetings be a gift? Most of us enjoy at least some face-to-face interaction and have suffered due to shelter in place orders where socialization has been limited to digital platforms.

Prior to COVID-19 about 10 million office workers used Zoom. According to Bloomberg, by the end of April 2020, Zoom surged to 300 million active users a day. Daily active users grew 2,900% in the span of 4 months. And that’s just one video conferencing platform.

A broad body of research links social isolation and loneliness to poor mental health.

Data from The Kaiser Family Foundation shows that significantly higher shares of people sheltering in place (47%) report negative mental health effects than among those not sheltering in place (37%). Isolation and loneliness during the pandemic may present even greater mental health risks for households with kids and for adults over 55.

No matter what your season of life, we’ve all had to adjust to digital interactions.

These days, like most working people, I can spend over 20 hours a week on video conferences. During COVID, my church went to online services and small groups. Conferences and celebrations we’d planned as in-person gatherings became virtual events. Working parents suddenly had to homeschool over video conferencing platforms.

Video calls limit our social interactions.

It’s tough to read body language and emotions through a screen. Therefore, we miss an entire layer of non-verbal communication. Also, according to the science of touch at the University of Berkeley, humans crave physical contact, which neither video conferencing nor social media can provide.

It only took a few months of shelter in place orders for me to reach a breaking point.

I was burnt out from spending so much time on video conferences. Just the idea of getting on a call, whether for work or social reasons, made me weepy and snotty which is not a good look for video!

All I could do was pray and journal out my feelings. I allowed myself to mourn the loss of in-person social interaction. Listen to my episode or read my blog on isolation for more details.

Most importantly, I reached out to the people I missed to express my love and how much I valued them.

Until that time, I didn’t fully realize how much I valued true intimacy and precious time with people in real life get-togethers. This time allowed me to nurture a deeper appreciation for the relationships that I’d taken for granted.

I focused on immediate family.

My oldest son and his wife had our grandbaby to protect so they were much more conservative about quarantine. My husband and I, while practicing social distance, still interacted with some people. Our different levels of sensitivity to social distancing created tension with the people we loved the most.

Out of our love and value of seeing them in person, we formed a COVID pod. We prioritized our family by limiting exposure to everyone else so that we could freely and safely see one another. Then, we established weekly family time. As a bonus, my husband and I got to watch our grandbaby while the adult kids got some much-needed time together.

We’ve been doing this since July and it has made all the difference in our emotional and mental well-being.

This life of over-indexing in digital interaction gave me a newfound appreciation for making more time in my life to be with the people I love the most. I’ve also more readily expressed affection when we are together. These are the things I will treasure from this experience.

This is the gift of virtual interaction.

A few weeks ago, it was one of my closest friend’s 50th birthday. Rather than the online birthday or drive by celebrations we’d been doing all year, our group of friends decided to don masks and celebrate our friend in person. Some of us hadn’t seen each other in six months.

The six of us got into a small boat and drifted on a lake as we watched the sunset. The sunlight gleamed on the rippled surface of the water. I took a deep breath, savoring the cleanest air we’d had after weeks of wildfires, and listened to the sweet chatter of my friends getting caught up.

The moment felt sacred.

The Greater Good Science Center has fascinating articles on the emotional high and sense of connection we get from being in the physical presence of others. After shelter in place is over, I plan to take even greater advantage of being in the presence of others. Not by adding more to my schedule but by being truly present when I share experiences with them. Noticing the sounds, sights, and vibrations of those around me.

Sheltering in place can help us better prioritize our lives once this season is over.

I’ve always loved a dance party, but I will also be sure to honor time spent celebrating milestones, going to concerts, conferences, and classes. And I will travel, something I’ve been putting off for “just the right time.”

Loved ones, I’m not sure where you are with social distancing.

Have you found a way to safely see the people you most care about? If you haven’t, perhaps you could consider forming a COVID pod. If you can’t do that, please take the time to tell your people that you love and appreciate them.

If you don’t have people in your life, keep your eyes open and maybe you will find some. My husband found the church we’ve been attending through Instagram. Prior to COVID-19, we didn’t know them. Now, they are a meaningful part of our lives.

The important thing to remember is you are not alone.

This season of isolation and digital interaction has been hard on all of us. We are in this together, even as we shelter in place.