Transcript

All Gifts -The Gift of Virtual Meetings

SPEAKERS

Pandora Villasenor

Pandora Villasenor  00:18

You are listening to the all gifts podcast where we unwrapped some of life's most challenging and painful topics to help you find the hidden gifts within. Here's your host and MBA, entrepreneur, author and Coach Pandora Villasenor. Welcome to the all gifts podcast. I'm your host, Pandora Villasenor. Today we're going to talk about the gift of zoom. Okay, you're probably thinking, Pandora has lost it. How could zoom be a gift? How can sitting on a video conference of any platform be a gift, especially for those of us who are used to enjoying real face to face interaction? Hmm, well, give me a few minutes. And I'll let you know what I'm thinking. Now, prior to COVID-19, about 10 million office workers used zoom, according to Bloomberg by the end of April 2020. So after COVID-19, that surged to 300 million active users a day, daily users on that one platform alone. So this isn't even counting WebEx or Skype or FaceTime. Daily active users grew 2,900% in just the span of four months. So if that gives you any indication of how much people are on video conference here in 2020, and as I record this, it is September of 2020. Then, then that gives you some picture of just how much people are relying on that digital communication. Abroad body of research links, social isolation and loneliness to poor mental health. So here we are, we are socially distant. We're not spending a whole lot of time with other people. In fact, if we're following all the rules, we're socially isolated, or socially distancing, were isolated. And again, the research shows that that state of social isolation and loneliness is a poor indicator of mental health. The Kaiser Family Foundation shows that significantly higher shares of people who are sheltering in place this year 47% report negative mental health effects than those who aren't sheltering in place. It's actually 37%. So is a 10% increase in negative mental health effects for those that are sheltered in place. So people, isolation and loneliness during the pandemic presents some specific mental health risks for people. Now this, these health risks go up if those households have children, especially children who are adolescents, as well as households that have adults that live alone over the age of 55. So here we are. And these days like most working people, in any given workweek, I spend over 20 hours a week on video conferences. If it's, you know, a good week, if it's a pretty challenging week, I may spend almost 30 hours a week on video conference. During COVID, as well, my church went to online services and zoom small groups, conferences, and even things like birthday celebrations and graduations that had once been planned as in person social gatherings became virtual events. I can't even imagine what these virtual modalities are bringing up for parents who are suddenly forced to homeschool. No matter what your season of life, we've all had to adjust to interacting with other people digitally this year, from having to keep your six year old engaged on a web call while you're working to getting used to seeing yourself on camera. Video web calls have limitations, with ramifications for our social interactions. For example, it's tough to read body language. You can't really pick up on how people feel body language is a huge part of understanding how people are feeling. Well, that's not something you're going to get from that little square camera shot of them. At the University of Berkeley, they talk about how the science of touch shows that we humans crave physical contact, which neither video conferencing nor social media is going to provide. Yet, these are the things that we're relying on right now for social interaction. I have to say it took me just a few months of sheltering in place for me to reach a breaking point with all of this digital communication. I became burnt out from all the video conferences, whether it was work or social, it seemed like I was constantly looking at somebody on the screen. Even people who used to just call me were now video conferencing me it was just it was a lot. And of course, I had this breakdown so I looked all weepy and snotty, which is not a good look for video. Let me tell you, I had to get it together. So I was forced to once again like I always say on this podcast, dig in and figure out what was going on with me. So I prayed I journaled out my feelings. And I really went through looking back now a period of mourning, I was mourning the loss of real in person social interaction. It was so cathartic. And after that, I realized, wow, I really need to reach out to the ones I missed the most. So I did I reached out to people, I expressed my love for them, how much I miss them, how much I valued them. Relationships that I had virtually taken for granted. This time allowed me to nurture a deeper appreciation for those people. Until that time, I didn't really fully realize how much I valued my relationships, true intimacy, and precious time with loved ones in actual real in person get togethers. Gosh, with immediate family, it was another level. We, you know, had different levels of sensitivity towards social distancing at the beginning of Coronavirus, my oldest son and his wife had our grandbaby to protect. So they were much more conservative about quarantine. Well, my husband and I social distance, but we still interacted with some people here and there and not a lot but we weren't as vigilant as we could have been. And this created conflict and tension with the people we love the most. So over time out of our love and value of seeing and interacting with them. We ended up learning about a COVID pod. And we learned about this through the University of Berkeley has a wonderful, interdisciplinary, greater good science center. You can look that up or I will link it in the show notes. But it is a fantastic resource where all these different disciplines come together and do research on you know, things that have to do with well being. So we'd read about this COVID pod in their newsletter. This was our family's way of prioritizing one another where we would limit exposure to everyone else. So we could freely see one another in safety. So that's really what a COVID pod is. You plan to limit exposure to everybody else who's not in the pod, so that those that are in the pod can freely see each other. So we did that. And in doing that we were able to make plans to see each other our COVID pod on a weekly basis for family time. And for us to watch the baby while the kids got some much needed time out together. So that was one way that our family came up with to, to really start to have that social outlet. See this life of over indexing in digital interaction gave me a newfound appreciation for making more time in my life. To be with the people I most love and we are together. I'm more readily expressive of my affection and love for them. These are all things I will treasure from this experience as we move into the future. This past weekend was one of my closest friends 50th birthdays, rather than the online birthday or drive by celebrations we've been doing all year this time, our group of friends decided to dawn masks and celebrate our friend in person. Some of us hadn't seen each other in six months. The six of us got into a small boat and wrote on a lake as we watch the sunset. I watched the sunlight gleam on the rippled surface of the water. I took a deep breath of the first clear air we'd had after weeks of fires and listen to the sweet chatter of my friends getting caught up. The moment felt blessed, sacred even see the emotional high and sense of connection we get from being in the presence the physical presence of others. Sharing an experience together is inspiring. I now appreciate that presence so much more. And after shelter in place is over, I plan to take even greater advantage of it, not by necessarily doing more or adding more to my schedule. But by being truly present when I am someplace when I am with people noticing the sounds, finding the sights, feeling the vibrations of those around me. This time of shelter in place and video conferencing can also help us see how we can prioritize our lives once the season is over. I've always loved a great dance party. But I will also be sure to honor time spent celebrating milestones, going to concerts, conferences, classes in person, and God willing, I'll travel something I've been putting off for just the right time for years. Loved ones, I'm not sure where you are with social distancing. If you found a way now after six months to see the people you most care about. If you haven't, perhaps you could consider forming a COVID pod. But even if you can't do that, take the time to tell your people that you love and appreciate them and find some way to safely be together. If you don't have people in your life, keep your eyes open, and maybe you'll find some. My husband and I found a church we've been attending through Instagram. We've never met these people in our lives. But now being with them has been so meaningful. And we would have never met them had it not been for you know, getting over zoom not wanting to do zoom church. Most of all, remember, you're not alone. This season of isolation and digital interaction has been hard on all of us. We are in this together, even as we shelter alone. Thank you for listening to this episode of The all gifts podcast. Thank you for listening to the all gifts podcast. I'm your host Pandora Villasenor I have a passion for coaching people to overcome the challenges in their lives by helping them discover ways to transform those challenges into gifts. Gifts of accomplishment, perseverance, strength and resilience. But most of all, peace and self love. Loved ones go to allgiftsbook.com to join us for exciting updates on the launch of all gifts the book and sign up for our free newsletter.